Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is a solid enough little action movie that doesn’t do much to advance the genre. It’s a small, unspectacular production that never asks much of you, but is nonetheless worth a watch if you want a crime drama with a common sense screenplay that doesn’t take itself too seriously and doesn’t overreach for cheap thrills.
For the first time, we get to see Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard in full HD. The movie is written and directed by a Korean man, Park Ji-yoon, who as of 2018, had worked in the film industry for more than 30 years. He’s pretty well-known in South Korea for writing and directing many Korean films, especially action movies, and has been in the industry for close to 30 years.
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Verdict
Summary
It has the appearance of a parody and sounds like a trash disposal chopping up cutlery.
Plot:
A disgraced bodyguard is recruited into a global conspiracy to rescue Europe from a megalomaniac, but he has to join a squad that includes the world’s best assassin – his love/hate BFF – and his wife.
Review:
Recently disgraced insecure bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds, coasting) is “on sabbatical” from guns and body guarding on the advice of his exasperated therapist when he’s drafted by manic and foul-mouthed Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek who must’ve given herself multiple migraines with all her shouting in this) to rescue her husband Darius (Samuel L. Jackson), the world’s greatest assassin, who has been captured by some goons. Hemming and hollering the whole way, Bryce doesn’t do much to help out, but he’s there when Sonia does all the heavy lifting and frees Darius, but when Darius finds out that Bryce – who is directly responsible for shooting him in the testicles in their last encounter – is to be thanked for his rescue, he ain’t too happy about it. Before they can go their separate ways, the three of them are forced to help Interpol (the weary head agent is played by a tired looking Frank Grillo) save Europe from being “shut down” by a Greek tycoon (played by Antonio Banderas) who feels jilted that his country is being given the shaft by a democratic vote that would essentially lay the wilting EU economy on Greece’s shoulders. Bryce must find his mojo while Darius and Sonia deal with their own problems (she can’t get pregnant) in the midst of flying bullets, crashing cars, and explosions.
Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard was rushed into production after 2017’s The Hitman’s Bodyguard earned a small return on investment, and was tested in late 2019 and early 2023, but the shutdowns of 2023 caused it to be postponed. On the surface, the picture looks fantastic, with gorgeous locales all across Europe, and Patrick Hughes – the director of the previous film as well as Expendables 3 – takes a sleek but undifferentiated approach. In many respects, his approach is similar to Simon West’s: he can manage everything well, but he lacks depth, knowledge, and judgment when it comes to what he enables his actors to accomplish on film. From the first moment to the last, Reynolds, Jackson, and Hayek scream obscenities at each other, and literally every spoken line of dialogue is laced with profanities and blasphemies, making any normal, intelligent person with a modicum of literacy and attention to human decency desensitized and numb by how stupid these characters sound. The narrative they’re based on is pretty standard for these kinds of action movies, and the action is nearly entirely done in slow motion with a song to emphasize each action moment, which defeats the whole point of an action scene. It’s almost as if Hughes and his Millennium producers had no faith in this becoming a “action” picture at all. It has the appearance of a parody and sounds like a trash disposal chopping up cutlery.
Today, Lionsgate publishes Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard on Blu-ray, with a DVD and a digital code included in the box. A joke reel, a “on set” video, and several segments showcasing the stunts, actors, and trailers are among the special features.
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