The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is a 2018 thriller starring Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Connie Nielsen, and Hannibal Buress. The movie follows a hitman who is hired to kill the wife of a Mexican cartel boss. She is then taken hostage by her husband, and her bodyguard is hired to protect her.
I walked into the cinema to see The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard in hopes of having a good time with a good movie. What I did not expect was a movie that would take me on a journey that would leave me drained, emotionally scarred and with such a sense of loss. What was amazing about the movie was that the characters weren’t complex at all. They were simple, one dimensional cardboard cutouts. And yet these characters were the most complex part of the movie.
A new Hitman movie may not have been all that anticipated, but the original game’s popularity, along with a the recent success of The series’ spinoff series, Blood Money, made it a no-brainer that a movie was in order to continue the story.
I knew there was a chance I wouldn’t like the movie Killer Wife’s Bodyguard. First, I haven’t seen the first film, Bodyguard the Killer, and seeing a sequel without having seen the first film can be quite problematic, depending on the film. Still, I was willing to give the movie a chance, even if I went into it blind, because the trailers looked pretty funny. I should have known better. Rule number one for the movie blogger: NEVER trust a preview. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard would continue where the first film left off, with Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) trying to pick up the pieces of his life. Of course, he gets thrown back into the mix by Sonja (Salma Hayek) and is soon on the run with Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson), whether he likes it or not. It seems cohesive enough, and there’s a good idea behind it with a pretty good villain, but it’s so poorly executed that no pressure on earth will make me watch this crap again. I was about halfway through the movie when I realized I was watching a terrible movie. Don’t get me wrong, The Assassin’s Wife’s Bodyguard is certainly not a good movie. If I had to sum up the biggest problem with the film, it’s that I think the writers combined three different storylines into the film, paired them with the three main characters, and prayed that the story would be roughly coherent. That’s the only explanation I can think of for a fractured story that contains so many different moods and plot elements that it quickly loses any semblance of a rational narrative (though that may be exactly the intent). The only good thing about this movie is Antonio Banderas’ scary performance as the villain. I wish he had been in this movie more often, because every time he appeared on screen, I visibly lit up. I also can’t forget how tense the atmosphere of this movie was. The story switches from wry humor to deadly seriousness, and back again, and it’s hard to get caught up in it and stay captivated (about 3/4 of the way through the story I gave up). Many of the emotional twists were totally unnecessary. There’s a whole storyline with Bryce’s father that amused me, confused me, and ultimately infuriated me with the way she was executed. There are only a few ways to say it, so I’ll say it one last time: Assassin’s Wife’s Bodyguard is not a good movie, I’m honestly surprised I watched it to the end and didn’t leave. The little details aren’t enough to save it, and that’s over 90 minutes of my life I’ll never get back (yes, it was that bad). Agree or disagree, let me know what you think of The Assassin’s Wife Bodyguard in the comments below and have a great day! See also: Movie reviews Become a Patreon blogger at patreon.com/musicgamer460 Check out the YouTube channel (and don’t forget to hit the subscribe button). Don’t forget to like it on Facebook
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